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Shadow of a Dream
Chapters 1-3


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Every girl goes through life looking for that special someone to make it complete.  There are some people that say, "In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities". Granted, it's not the same for every girl.  Of course I had a lot of dreams.  I just wasn't sure if I had love.  The kind of love that is forever.  The kind of love that makes you complete.  It may take a while, but once you've got it, you don't ever want to let it go.  I just wish I could've found it a little bit earlier...

Chapter 1

I needed to go to Wal-Mart to buy some stuff for my apartment. My best friend Zac Hanson took me.  Yes, I know what you're saying, 'Zac Hanson is her best friend.?'  Well I have to say is yes, he is.  He always wants to take me everywhere. I once asked him why he never wanted to let me drive and his answer was, "Liz...I would let you drive...But you're just too short to see over the dashboard!" Then he would start laughing. Of course I'm not short. I'm a healthy 5 feet 8 inches. Just because he's four inches taller than me doesn't make me short, right?

I've known the Hanson family since I was born. I was born on Sept. 1983.  My mom and Mrs. Hanson were best friends in high school. So when I was younger I'd play with Isaac and Taylor.  Then Zac was born and of course we would play with him too. A favorite of mine was when I'd make him play "house".  Dont get me wrong!  Isaac, Tay and I are really good friends, but Zac and I just went together better.

Even though Zac is two years younger than me, we would hang out all the time.  Even when I was in high school, he'd come and pick me up to take me out to eat. Some girls in my class had a huge crush on him. I mean who wouldn't? He's tall, has a nice build, has beautiful light brown eyes, tanned skin, and gorgeous dark blonde hair, not to mention, famous! Of course I only see him as Zac, my best friend, the guy that I used to take baths with (when we were younger). Those girls would always ask me why him and I never hooked up...I'd just look at them and walk away.  They just dont understand.

But something strange between us did happen. When we were out in the parking lot, carrying all the stuff I had bought, which was a lot, one of the bags I was carrying tore!  And all of the stuff fell on to the ground.  Thank God it was right in front of my car!

"Real good slick!" Zac said.  We both started laughing and bent down to pick it all up.  On the way down we bumped heads, and I fell on my bum!  We started laughing even harder.  I put all of the things on the floor in one of the other bags and slowly got up still laughing hard. I opened my trunk and put all the bags in.

"Real good Zac, you don't even help me pick anything up!  Instead you stand there laughing your little ass off!"

"Hey, no need to use profanities!" He smiled and picked me up and twirled me around. I love when he does that.  When he put me down, he looked into my eyes in the strangest way.  He's never looked at me that way before. It was nice though.  I don't know.  After that we rode back home in silence. 


Chapter 2

He came into my room without even knocking.  He always did that.  At the time I was lying in my bed, writing in my diary.  I had had another bad day.  But no one knew except me and my diary.  Sometimes I couldn't even tell him how I felt or what was happening to me.  I put the pen in between the pages of the diary and got up from my position on the bed. 

"Hey Liz" he greeted me. 

"Hey Z"  I returned.  "Can you hang on for a minute cuz I have to use the powder room," I asked him. 

"Sure" was his answer and I walked out of my room and into the bathroom.  I finished up and opened my bedroom door and found something I did not want to find.  He was sitting on my bed reading my diary.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  That had my personal thoughts and feelings and he were reading it like the newspaper. 

"Zac, what are you doing?"  he looked up at me startled and then back at the diary. 

"Liz, was...uh I. didn't know," I ran to where he was sitting and ripped the diary from his hands.  I looked at it and then held it to my chesttightly guarding my secrets. 

"Zac, how could you read this?  This is my DIARY! You can't just go around and read peoples diaries! This has some of my most personal thoughts and feelings!"  He looked at me like a scared little child who was caught playing with his mommys handbook that he wasnt supposed to touch. 

"Liz I didn't know it was your diary...honest! I saw it"

"And you started reading it!" I finished.

"I'm sorry...I just didnt know."  I looked at him with betrayal. 

"Get out." I said quietly. 

"What?" he asked,

"Get out of my room!" I raised my voice.

"But Liz..."

"GET OUT!" I yelled.  He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. Then he turned around and walked out of my room.  I slammed my door shut and walked over to a corner of my roomstill guarding my secrets.  I sank down to the floor and started crying.  "How could you Zac?  How could you?" I asked out loud.  I had just felt the worst kind of betrayal.the betrayal of a best friend.


Chapter 3

I couldnt believe it.  The 13th time its happened to me! In just two years!  Something must be wrong with me.   Damn relationships.  Never go the way I want them to go.  But then againit is always my fault that they never last.  Theres just something always missing.  I decided to take a walk.  I didnt know where I was goingI just knew I had to get out of my house as fast as I could.  I walked about two blocks before realizing where my legs were taking me.  I stood in front of Zac's house.  I wasn't sure if I should go knock or if I should just keep on walking.  I looked at the sky and noticed that it was going to start raining very soon.  I jumped at the sound of thunder cracking in the distance. 


"Liz?  Hun what are you doing standing out there?"  I turned to the familiar voice of Diana.


"Hello Mrs. Hanson." I greeted her as I walked up the sidewalk to the front door. 


"Oh please dear, I've told you a million times, call me Diana."  She smiled at me and continued, "It looks like its going to rain pretty badly," I nodded.  "Zac is up in his room doing some school work but Im sure he won't mind the interruption."  I walked through the living room where Walker was sitting reading a newspaper.


"Hello Mr. Hanson." He looked up from his newspaper.  


"Hello Liz."  I proceeded up the stairs and to the door of Zacs room.  I stood in the doorway looking at him lying on the floor sleeping surrounded by books, pencils, and papers.  It had been awhile since we had talked to each other, well, since the diary incident.  But I just needed him right now.  He was the only one who could make me feel better.  I walked over to him, as quietly as I could and knelt beside him. 


"Oh this is too easy," I said to myself.  Then I started shaking him, "ZACHARY HANSON THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL!"  He jumped a mile and backed away quickly.


"DAMNIT LIZ!"  I was doubled over on the floor laughing. "What the hell did you do that for?"  He began crawling back to his original position. 


"Zac you know...very well...that...when I have the chance...I will try my very scare the hell out of you!" I said between giggles.  He looked at me and gave me one of those 'I'm so going to get you back bad looks'.  Then I stopped laughing and looked at him. 


"So," He looked at me "What are you doing here?"  I looked to the floor and began wringing my hands,


"Well, me and broke up."  I could feel the tears begin welling up in my eyes. 


"Let me get out my tally board." He said sarcastically. 


"What? What do you mean tally board?" I asked a tear rolling down my checks.


"Nevermind," he mumbled and looked away.


"Oh, I get it.  Every time I get my heart broken you put a tally mark on your special board and you dont even care about how I feel."  There was a crack of thunder that seemed to shake the house. 


"Liz, thats not what I meant," Zac began.


"No I know perfectly well what you meant." I stood up and it began raining outside.  "I guess I was wrong coming here.  I thought that you would show a little sympathy and comfort.  But I was wrong."  I walked out of the room and began stomping down the stairs.


"Liz!" He called after me.  I walked through the living room and out the door into the cold pouring rain.  He came out the door and started walking after me. "Liz, come back! I didnt mean it like that. Come on!" I kept on walking getting soaked to the bone.


"No Zac, I know what you meant."  You don't have to pretend anymore.  My life is just a big joke to you!"


"Well come on Liz, I mean think about it!" I kept on walking "Liz, how many times have you broken up with someone because it didnt work?  How many times did you come to my house and cry on my shoulder because he wasnt what you wanted?  How many times..." He ran up to me and grabbed my by the shoulders and turned me around "Listen to me! How many times are you going to let this happen to you?" He held on tightly to my shoulders and looked at me straight in the eye.  I stayed quiet.  "Christ Liz! You keep letting guys hurt you!  When is it going to be enough?  Things happen!  It may not be the way you want it to happen but you cant stop it!."  He let go of me and started walking away, then he turned back.  "When are you going to let all that go and look at what youve got right in front of you!" 


"What are you saying?" I asked. 


"Me, Liz!"  He stood there, soaking wet, looking at the ground.  I just stared at him.  I didnt understand.  What was he trying to tell me? 


"Liz? Zac? What are you two doing out in the rain? Get in here!" I turned to see my mom standing in the doorway.  We had walked all the way back to my house.  We both turned and started walking to the door.  Once we were inside we ran to the bathroom and stood in the tub. "You two want to catch a cold or what?" She asked while getting towels.  "Now, both of you stay in there, and Ill go get you some clothes."  I mentally laughed at that.  Zac and I had been best friends for so long that he practically lived here.  I looked toward the sink and saw my toothbrush right next to his.  He kept one here, along with some clothes.  We both kept quiet.  Not knowing what to say to each other.  It was the most uncomfortable situation that I had ever been in.  My mother came back in and gave us some clothes to change into.  After we finished changing, Zac looked at me and said he was going to go home.  I watched him walk out of the room and start heading out the door.  I couldn't just let him leave.


"Zac," I yelled after him


"Yeah?" he turned around, hope in his eyes.  I wanted to tell him thanks for what he said, and ask him what he meant, but I just couldnt find it in me.  So I went to the back of the door and grabbed my black umbrella.


"Here, I don't want you to get sick."  He slightly smiled and grabbed the umbrella. 


"Thanks," he said and walked out the door.


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